5 Tips for Dealing with A Difficult Child

If you find yourself in the throes of parenting with a child that is challenging you every step of the way, you may feel hopeless and drained. You may be dealing with a toddler that is throwing tantrums every five minutes or a teenager that changes moods with every breath they take. It may seem that your child is the only one that is difficult as you watch the children of your friends submit quietly and willingly to their parents commands. The reality is that at some point in the day or in their overall development most children have difficult moments or seasons. So do not be discouraged! Check out our 5 tips for dealing with a difficult child!

1. Take the time to get to know your child and their temperament. Often times, we just want our children to do what we say or to act a certain way. It is essential, however, to have a good understanding of your child’s temperament. What are their patterns of behavior when it comes to their activity levels? Are they super active? Laid back? Feisty? How do they respond to new stimulus such as new people or environments? How adaptable are they to their changing environment? How do they typically respond to things? How is their mood in general? Are they easily distracted? What is their sensory threshold? When you are better able to answer these questions you will have more direction on how to approach certain situations with your child.
2. Try not to respond out of your own emotions, such as anger or frustration. Take a moment to compose yourself before addressing certain issues or concerns. When you respond to your child’s poor behavior in anger you will illicit a similar response. Instead work on being calm and disciplining them out of love, not anger.
3. Don’t take it personal! It is so easy to consider their behavior and words as a personal insult. Most likely, your child is not being irritating on purpose, but they do need assistance on learning how to express themselves in a healthy and constructive manner.
4. Look at your own personality and behavior. Much of the behavior, not all, that our children display is a direct reflection of what they see and have learned in their home. Take an introspective look and make the necessary changes within.
5. Take time for yourself! Try to set aside time weekly if not daily to regroup and do something for yourself. The best way to care for your children is to start by caring for yourself. If you are feeling overwhelmed reach out for assistance from family members or even a professional. 

Raising children is challenging no matter what the circumstances are. Work to develop a great support team and stay calm!

How to Motivate Your Unmotivated Teen

Many parents of teens struggle with their teenager at some point due to their lack of motivation. For some, it may be an issue of school work or college applications, for others it may deal more with sports and extracurricular activities or helping out around the house. Whatever the issue may be, we have a few tips that should help you with your unmotivated teen.

First things first, most teens really are not unmotivated. They are definitely motivated to do something, just not what you want them to do. Some teens go through a phase where their main motivation is to resist. They desire to resist whatever it is that you want them to do. They are learning to assert themselves and make decisions independently, which is a natural part of growing up. However, it can be very frustrating for parents and detrimental to the success and well being of the child if left unaddressed.

Your teen may feel powerless, and therefore they respond by withholding. This is the only way that they are able to retain some of the power they feel like you have over them. This may point to a lack of skills, social and problem solving. The good thing is that if your teen is withholding, not getting out of bed, failing to do homework, refusing to help around the house, you know where you need to start. Instead of yelling at them, arguing, and attempting to coax them into behaving the way you would like, enforce consequences.

For many parents this is the difficult part. No one wants to see their kids fail at anything. The truth is they may need to feel what the consequences are for their behavior without your interference. If they do not do their homework, their grades will reflect that. If you set up a structure for chores and they fail to comply give them a consequence such as no television or no going out. Be sure to enforce your rules and follow through with the consequences. Give your teen the choice and the space to make their own decision.

It is also important to build in opportunities for rewards for doing what is right. Celebrate their successes, encourage them to stay motivated for the right reasons. If they earn all A’s reward them, take them out to dinner, brag to your friends about them, etc. You can even build in checkpoints. If they complete a certain number of college applications by a certain time let them choose the restaurant for that week’s family dinner. The options are endless!

Remember, everyone is motivated towards something. As a parent of a teen, your focus may be to shift that motivating factor towards something positive. Help them retain their sense of power by giving them choices, but also allow them to experience the consequences of poor decisions in a way that is constructive and non-harmful. 

How to Raise a Confident Child Pt. 1

Most parents would like for their children to be confident, bold, and brave. However, we spend so much time protecting and coddling them as children. Take a look at these quick and easy tips for raising a confident child.

Improve your self-confidence
It is so easy to look at our children and see the areas that they appear to be lacking in. It is just as important to take an introspective look at yourself and notice the same things. The best way to teach your child anything is to be that thing or to emulate those same characteristics.

Be positive
Much of what your child thinks of themselves comes from you. Do they feel like people enjoy being around them? Do they feel beautiful or attractive? Do their opinions and thoughts matter to you? Take a minute to think about whether or not you give off positive or negative thoughts and feelings to your child.

Encourage their talents
Have you noticed that your child is good at something in particular? Be sure to encourage them in that area. Let them know how good they are at it. Some people believe that the confidence that they may feel in one activity or area can spill over into other areas of their lives.

Start at Home
Much of how your child feels about themselves is shaped by their initial significant relationships. The bonds that they have with their parents, aunts, uncles, siblings, etc. determine so much as they continue to grow and develop. Many people tend to adopt the mindset that they will expose their child to many different people and situations and allow their child to develop their own values. That tends to be problematic. It is better play a more active role in the development of their values.

Know Their Friends
It is impossible to consistently choose your kids friends for them. You can however monitor those friendships and teach them the qualities to look for in a good friend. Kids that bully, are super aggressive, and are constantly getting into trouble may not be the type of child you want them to be friends with. Building a child with confidence, includes giving them the skills necessary to surround themselves with encouraging people and to also be encouraging to their friends.

There is so much more to cover on this ever important topic! Be sure to check out part 2!

How to Raise a Confident Child Pt. 2

This is the second installment of How to Raise a Confident Child. In the first article, we discussed how it is important to improve your own self confidence as a parent, be positive, encourage their talents, start at home, and to know their friends. Today we have a few more helpful tips to get you started with raising a child who is confident, bold, and courageous!

Don’t label them
Children who have physical limitations do not need to be reminded of that fact. For example, a child who has a chronic condition such as asthma or a learning disorder should not be defined based on what that condition may be. Many children and even adults live life plagued by the limitations placed on them in childhood due to labeling.

Give them a job
Children thrive on structure and responsibility. What better way to boost your child’s self-confidence than by giving them tasks that they can accomplish and feel proud about? This can start very early with simple jobs around the house. You can have your toddler assist with gathering trash, helping with a younger siblings diaper changes, cleaning up their toys, helping check the mail, etc. As they get older, increase the level of difficulty. Have your older children start to learn to cook and help with grocery shopping.

Let them express their emotions
Some people read this suggestion and feel that it means the child should be allowed to throw tantrums all over the place. The opposite is certainly the case. You want to encourage your child to learn to express their emotions in a healthy, age appropriate manner. This will show your child that you are listening, accept their emotions, and respect them as an individual. This is not a license to be disobedient. If they are able to learn to effectively express themselves at a young age, this can translate positively into adulthood.

Parenting comes with so many challenges and things to learn. At several points in your day you may worry that you are falling short in an area or two. Just focus on doing your best to raise a child that knows what true love from a parent feels and looks like. In time, your child will grow into an adult full of confidence and love!

5 Ways to Prevent Summer Learning Loss

Summer is here! While the children are excited and running free all day, many parents are worried that they will lose much of what they have learned over the last school year. There are some things that you can do over the summer to ensure that your child does not lose all of the information they have learned and that they are ready for the next school year.

Set Time Aside for Learning
Try to make time daily for learning. This time does not need to be hours long or super intense. Just 20 to 30 minutes per day is more than enough to keep those juices flowing without stealing all of their summer joy.

Work on 3 to 4 Math Problems Per Day
It may come off as taxing to your child initially, but making sure that they brush up on those math skills is crucial over the summer. Much of what they learn in math builds on previous information. Try to have your child practice everyday with just a few math problems in varying areas (algebra, geometry, etc.). You can easily gather problems and free worksheets offline or you can go to a local bookstore and purchase a workbook. Speak to your child’s teacher to see if he/she has any recommendations if you are unsure.

Read Daily
Reading comprehension is so important, particularly when it comes to those daunting standardized tests. You can create activities on your own using books that they enjoy or once again you can purchase a workbook specifically designed to work on comprehension.

Write! Write! Write!
Students do not always get the opportunity to write creatively in school. There is so much demanded of them that they sometimes forget how to be creative in their writing. Unleash their inner genius and have them write several times a week. Perhaps you can have them work on creating their very own storybook, they could even do the illustrations. By the end of the summer they could have a masterpiece that you can have printed!

Focus on the Problem Areas
Most students have an area or two of weakness. The summer is the perfect time to tackle those areas without the stress of homework assignments and tests. Consider hiring a tutor to work with your child once or twice a week in these areas. You could also purchase materials that they can work. Be sure to make it fun and interesting, after all it is the summer!

Summer is a fun time and it should be! Your child will only be in school and have those wonderful summers off for a short period of time. Let them have fun, but also let them learn!

How to Ease Your Child’s Transition from Elementary to Middle School

Going from elementary to middle school is such a big transition for many children, and even many parents. There are so many changes going on at one time. From the increase in the size of the school, number of other students, changing classes, and increase in the difficulty of school work to the changes occurring within your child’s body so much is happening! The best way to deal with the changes is by becoming as prepared as possible for what is to come. We have put together a few suggestions on easing your child to middle school.

Go On A Tour
Many schools offer tours to elementary school students and parents. Go and check out the facilities. Learn where your student’s classes are, where the restrooms are located, his/her locker, and where the exits are. Allow your child to get comfortable with the building so that when it is time to start school that will be the least of his/her worries.

Get A Copy of Their Schedule
It is always a good idea to secure a copy of your child’s schedule in advance. Take a look at it with a map of the school so that he/she can get a good idea of where their classes are located. Having the schedule in advance could also help prepare your student for their classes and in learning their teachers' names in advance.

Check Out the School’s Website
Many schools have very detailed websites that includes information on all the teachers and administrators. It may ease your child’s anxieties if they are able to see what their teachers look like in advance. They can also check out the extracurricular activities that the school offers in ahead of time.

Meet Your Child’s Teachers
Most schools start the year off with an open house, where parents and students can come in and meet their child’s teachers. Take advantage of this time to learn more about the school and the philosophies of the teacher’s working directly with your student. You want to be sure to build a good rapport with them and make sure that your student understands their individual expectations.

Middle school is such an exciting yet frightening period for both students and parents alike. Take the time to make sure your child transitions smoothly by implementing some of our tips. Enjoy the ride through middle school! High school is right around the corner!

How to Ease Your Child’s Transition from Middle to High School

High school is such a fun, yet confusing time of life. Hormones are raging, social skills are developing, attitudes are forming, values are being challenged and changed on the daily. How can you work to ensure that your child has the best transition from middle school to high school despite all that is going on? Check out our tips to ease that transition, not only for your student but also for you!

Check it Out in Advance
We simply cannot stress how important this step is. It is so difficult to enter an unknown place for the first time and be expected to keep it all together. Many schools offer tours for prospective students in the spring of their 8th grade year. Take advantage of this time to make sure that your student is comfortable with the school. You could even work with the school counselor to arrange another time to come and walk around the building and talk to the teachers if you need to.

Encourage Self-Advocacy
This is the time where your student really needs to learn to speak up for him or herself. Encourage them to speak with their teachers when they have questions or problems and to attend tutoring sessions. Many students fail to ask questions because they fear the social consequences. Work to have your student work pass that and get the answers they need to be successful.

Encourage Involvement
Social life is so important in high school. Encourage your student to get involved in extracurricular activities like band, sports, or clubs. Not only will it help them to meet like minded friends, but it can also help to build their college resumé.

List Out Goals
Sit down with your student prior to the start of high school and have a serious talk about his or her goals. What are their plans after high school? What kind of GPA do they need to earn every year to make it to their next step after high school? What steps do they need to complete in this coming year to get them closer to their goals? Write some simple, clear, and obtainable goals down and bring them out throughout the school year to assess how they are doing. This will help your student stay focused and encouraged throughout their high school career.

High school does not have to be stressful for students or parents. A little effort put in at the beginning of your student’s high school career can go a long way in preparing them for life after high school, keeping them focused on their goals, and in making sure that it is an enjoyable phase for everyone.